Something unpecedented is going to happen on 12/21/12Nothing even guessed at.It will be astonishing and I would,nt miss it for the world.No one will be reseated for the final act.Survival will be dicey to say the least.We live in a time when we are expected to believe when there is nothing left to believe in.We live in a time when we are expected to smile when it feels like utter despair inside.We are told to go through the motions and it will be so because when we act it makes its own reality thats how big we are.If every one would just behave we would,nt need to destroy the planet to save it.American foreign policy.On the scale of things great and small I like to think I am right in the middle.You know where its warm and sguiggly.A great experiment is coming to its conclusion.This means everyone will be out of a job soon if you are'nt already.The going through the motions machine is vanishing before our eyes.Good riddance to 2009 and fasten your seat belts snug.What did the hurricane say to the palm trees?"watch your nuts boys this ain't no ordinary blow."Thats an old Hap Happy joke in case you don,t remember who he was.Anyway my advice for 2010 is to yuck it up when you can.Even disaster can be humorous like that joke was a disaster.My grandmother once told me that my problem is that I would do anything for a joke because I was cutting up in the back seat while she was driving. I guess some things must remain humorless like road rage.People who are ridiculous will be even more ridiculous and so on.I wish every one a hap happy new year and resolved not to give in to resolutions so I did,nt make any.

If the possiblity exists it will be realised eventually just like a land mine waiting to get stepped on.As always the question is not a matter of if but when.The human psyche carries whith it a dark shroud of such when over the span of life from the beginning having never experienced death other than le petite mort of orgasm.The conscience none the less dreads death like people dread moving day.So dying is really like being evicted.God is putting your shit out on the street that is all.You are not really dead it just looks that way.Yes its disgusting all that dead meat but nature comes to the rescue and cleans up the scene in a jiff.There are memories primeval inside of us that tell us a great die off is coming.Indeed we are well into the midst of it right now.The human race like an over gorged tick has come to the attention of its host .And that shroud over you is her deadly gaze as she prepares to extricate you off her skin with a pair of cosmic tweezers.All that nashing of teeth and such.In 1967 an ore boat left Cleveland harbor and just as it passsed the breakwall the waves broke it in half and it sank right there.Because it was in shallow water it became a shipping hazard so the Army corp of engineers dyked it off brought in fill dirt and made a reef and park out of it.Before they did I went down and walked out on part of the main deck that was above the waves.The wrath of Lake Erie is something to behold.I can recount more than one near death experience for underestimating her.But I had this nightmare about that place and bodies were being bulldozed as landfill there.In the dream I was still alive and the bulldozer was coming at me and even though I was yelling to the driver that I was alive he did'nt care and just kept coming.The human race is the driver and the victim but refuses to see either of them.This is our tragedy.

I suspect that with things like nuetrinos zipping through the material world with nary a care that on another level our existence makes its home much the same way inside a much bigger reality that knows we are here but does not feel us any more than the last nuetrino that just whizzed through your brain.Did you feel it?No Are you the same person you were?Also no.The scale of all things is in proportion from the visible to the invisisble.Just because it may be outside your range of perception does not give you reason to ignore it.That would be silly and it would show an earnest failing of the imagination which thrives on making mountains out of mole hills but is seldom interested in making mole hills out of mountains due to the tedious attention to detail required from such an effort.Is there any place in this universe that does not spin?Can anything be still in this realm? What would it mean?The horror of repetition and no escape are suffocating to the mind of the enlightened soul until that stillness is found there can be no comfort. Where is that quiet place in the mind?Alas sleep overtakes us mercifully because in the end it is all too much for us.To die is to awaken from a dream of a physical self that is aging with the corrosive effects of time.There is a still timeless place free from birth and death and harsh light and the pain of a body.It is my fervent hope that I find this place either in life or death.More will be revealed and that is a sure sign that something is unfolding for all of us.

Well I did it,I enrolled for classes at Oaksterdam U today for the Winter semester.I hope this will give me the knowledge that it takes to open a cannabizness when I graduate in 13 weeks starting January 12th 2010.I had help of course.This is the first of its kind since the era of prohibition ended that a new commerce opens up with legal pot.I don,t have much politically to talk about.The vaudeville act that is American politics has become so unreal that a trance would be an improvement over the awareness our leadership demonstrates.If putting people to sleep was'nt enough to qualify our politicians for office then maybe boring them to death does.Washington is a contract clearing house for global corporations redistributing the public weal amonst themselves.In Italy they have a name for this,fascism.A majority of the electorate like all these logos patched on everything.It gives them comfort knowing that something as big and slick is in charge.Its not unlike tribal membership.Evasion is an art form in corporate America.All that shifting and evading responsibility over time leads to madness over time which is why profiteering always leads to tyranny.The people are looted eventually and left destitute and powerless.Only after a long bitter struggle lasting decades does freedom become possible again.Rinse Repeat.What happens to the least of these happens to all of us.The conceited notion of exceptionalism is exposed for what it is which is nothing if not childish.There but for the grace of God go I.But what about the other poor schmuck who did'nt make it in this darwinian economy.Did'nt Gods Grace extend to him also?No you just get what you get until its gone and you with it someday sooner than later.And so it goes.

I am on my way to becoming unrecognisable to myself as I age.I am turning into a senior citizen at 55 and its like being the first one into the cafeteria at lunch because just about all the people from the depression are gone now.I am both saddened and elated by this.Yes a new era is upon us yet without shape it remains unseen by the most astute among us.We as in Americans what ever that is have forgotton how to do the things that got us here because nobody thought we would ever need it enough to go through all the trouble to keep it safe and close at hand.Therefore humanity will repeat this abyssmal history all over again and again.Too big to fail my ass.About every 80 years the economy chokes on its own vomit and turns blue.Nothing to worry about.Panic is the worst thing you could do at the moment.Just concentrate on staying afloat and calming yourself down like a drowning victim.Of couse no one knows if we live or die and we never ever do anyway really.As immorality corrupts trust in a mission creep kind of way the process turns itself inside out and sheds its skin in a cycle beyond the life times of men and women and generally go unrecognised in their hour.We have a perfect storm of synchro-cycle convergences all coming at once.And then there is planetX come to pay a visit with a lot on her mind not the least of which is to bask in the light coming directly from the Milky Way galaxy with her companion star the Sun.Photos of crop circles in England show our solar system with the Earth missing.The gravitational effects of her electro-magnetic pull are beginning to be felt by all the planets.

Well, I am back in Los Angeles after spending the last 3/1/2 years to the day in Cleveland after I flew there for my sister Heidis' 50th birhtday.Plus after staying away for 10 years in places like Chicago,San Diego,and Los Angeles/Long Beach it was time to show up and get over myself ;a serious defect in my character in any case. Cleveland is one of those places where if you were,nt born there then you must have lost your mind to be there like falling in love deeply with somebody from there. I was born there so I have an excuse coming and going. I did this by working for airlines ,railroads and a bus company over the years. Cleveland has a long reach so I,ve come to find out ever so true all these years meant to be a week turned into years bundled together in my mind so I can retain some chron-illogical sense of it .The only sane choice is to stay away put it behind you and stop moving around damn it. I should have spent more time career planning instead of tossing coins in a Gay Bar deciding my future.What else is a fair way to bear weight on one side of the teeter-totter or the other if its come to that?Oh and it did many times until I saw a pattern emerging and immediately set to work end the practice. I finally did on July 17th 1983 when I fell off a bar stool and landed in a church basement at an AA meeting. Those universal portals are real my friends and are available to any one willing to see them when they appear. Getting willing is the hard part. I still have a fondness for my first pink cloud.Like losing your virginity you refuse to believe you won,t get it back but you don,t. I don,t drink anymore.I,m done with it this time for good.Three summers ago already was my last bout with it.I was knocked out first bounce off the ropes and wound up being carried away on a stretcher off the kitchen floor.Heart attack.